Usapang Ex…

•February 19, 2009 • 2 Comments

OCTOBER 16, 2007.

I’ve been married for over a year. It wasn’t THE DREAM WEDDING, I must admit. Well, kailan ba naging dream wedding ang mass civil wedding?

1. Officiated by Honoroble Nene Aguilar na ginawang political platform ang kasal namin. Of all the not-so-inspiring things he said, I remember this statement quite well:

“Alam nyo ba ang ginawa ko sa CAA? Napakadumi nyan dati, pero nilinis ko!”

Wow, janitorial services ang drama ng lolo mo! Kung di ka lang nakakabilib dahil the whole time ay nakatabingi ang ulo mo.. yan lang ang inspiring sayo kuya!

2. 95% ng mga ikinasal ay may deposito na.. in short, jontis! at okay okay, hindi ako kasama sa remaining 5%.

3. Imbes na trahe ang suot mo ay bronze na damit mula sa SARI SARI ang outfit mo for the supposedly one of the most memorable day of your life. Dapat angat ang beauty mo sa iba. Ang ending, mukha ka lang aattend ng birthday party ng isang mayamang friend. In fact, suot mo din ito nung nakaraaang company Christmas party ninyo sa Tiendesitas.

So it wasnt the grandest wedding. Pero diba mas mahalaga naman yung pagkatapos ng kasal? The marriage itself? Maswerte ako sa asawa ko.. he’s the most sensitive guy I’ve ever met. Minsa nga feeling ko, siya pa ang mas “babae” sa aming dalawa. He never runs out of surprises! As in yung mga tipong sa pelikula ni Dingdong at Antoinette mo lang makikita! Yung parang ang buhok mo eh aabot hanggang sa HSBC! And now with our beautiful daughter around, life just keeps getting better.

I am MRS. PALANCA. Unang beses ko pa lang narinig ang name nya, CARLO RIVERA PALANCA, wow! I wanted to own it!

Pero that was not always the case. Katulad din ng iba, I had to kiss a few frogs to find my prince. First time that I am writing about the past loves of my life. Pero this time, I REMEMBER THE BOY, BUT I DONT REMEMBER THE FEELING ang drama ko..

Here’s a rundown of all the past source of my kiligs.. in chronological order! Haha!

1. MR. DIMPLES
He was my childhood sweetheart! Wala pa kameng malisya pinagpapartner na kame palagi. We grew up thinking na we have to end up together dahil destiny namin ang isa’t isa. Cute siya.. bedimpled cheeks..Naalala ko pa non kung panong naiisip ko cia tuwing mapapanood ko si Patrick Garcia.14 years old ako nung maging kame, officially! Oo nga friends, mejo maaga ako kumembot! Pero dahil long distance ang love affair na ito, kame lang pag nagkikita kame, which is approximately 4 times a year. Medyo lapitin cia ng mga babae, kaya ng mahuli ko cia for the Nth time na may kerida, being the ever martyr girlfriend, sinabi ko sa knya na ayos lang sakin na magshota muna cia ng iba, bsta kailangan na cia ang magsasabi sa akin. O db? Tangang tanga lang ang dating? So ayun nga, di ko na maalala kung ilang beses ciang tumawag sa akin para sabihin na “MAY JOWA AKO NGAYON”, at ako naman, “AH, OKAY!” lang ang tanging sagot. ESTUPIDA!

The relationship went on and off, and on and off, for about 4 years. Pero dahil nga bihira naman kame magkita, collectively ay mga 3 months lang ito.

But yeah, he was my first love. May mga crush crush-an na ako kinder pa lang, pero cia ang una kong pag-ibig. Or so I thought!

Years later,bago cia nagpunta sa Dubai para imeet ang online GF nya, kinausap pa niya ako.. asking kung pwede pa ba kame. Na sabihin ko lang na wag ciang umalis.. Pero the childhood fantasy was long over. Para sa akin, isa na lang ciang kaibigan. And I did the right thing.. I didnt ask him to stay. May asawa na cia ngayon..may anak na din.. halos kasing edad lang ng baby ko.

2. THE MAMA’S BOY
Lumaki ako sa isang konserbatibong pamilya. Gaano ka-conservative?
Malandi na para sa tatay ko kapag meron kang suot na anklet.
Kapag may kausap kang lalaki sa telepono, masisira na ang kinabukasan mo dahil mabubuntis ka kaagad.
Masamang kumuyakoy dahil para kang babaeng ma-L.

And the list could go on and on.

So nung 18th birthday ko, ang wish ko: GUSTO KO LANG NG KAUNTING FREEDOM! In front of all the guests na walang tigil sa kakakantyaw dahil kitang kita ko kung paanong naningkit ang mata ng mga magulang ko.Pero ayun, pumayag silang magpaligaw na ako sa bahay.. I am legally allowed to have a love life.

Siya ang unang nagpakita ng interest sa akin immediately after my birthday. Well, meron naman iba pero dahil mas matanda cia ng 1 year kesa sa akin, naisip kong masarap siguro ciang magalaga.

A few months after getting to know each other, naging kame.. sa bus ko pa yata cia sinagot.. dahil ihahatid nya ako sa bahay for the first time. Ako naman si excited, OO na kaagad. Later on I realized I made a mistake. Okay naman cia eh. But there was just no spark. We had nothing in common. Di ako nageenjoy kapag kausap ko cia sa telepono. Kapag pumupunta cia sa bahay, mas interesado cia sa PC namin kesa makipagclose sa pamilya ko. And worse, cia ang umuubos ng mga pasalubong nya sa akin.

4 months lang yata kame. Wala akong nagamit na reason para makipagbreak kaya ang sinabi ko na lang through a touching letter ay: MASYADO KANG MABAIT FOR ME! Kamusta naman yun? Nasaktan ko cia, alam ko. I saw him suffer in pain. Pero yun lang ang pwede kong gawin para makamove on na cia. Hurting him was inevitable. Hindi ko kayang magpanggap na pwede pa naming ayusin lahat dahil lalo lang ciang masasaktan..at aasa. That was the most humane thing I could do for him.

Sa ngayon, wala na akong balita sa kanya. I know he had a girl friend after me..pero di ko alam kung sila pa din hanggang ngayon. And honestly, I dont even have the interest to find out.

3. DIET, THE EMO
A few weeks after I broke up with MAMA’S BOY, I started noticing DIET, the EMO. Maraming nagsasabi na kamukha daw nya si Diether. Well, gwapo cia.. in the most common definition of gwapo way.. tall dark and handsome. Bulky pa.. mahilig sa sports, sa gym, sa rock bands..Maraming kinikilig sa kanya lalo na kapag may liga ng basketball sa school. In fairness, magaling cia.

Bago ko pa naging jowa si number 2, nanligaw sa akin si Diet.. Pero medyo na TO ako sa kanya ng makausap ko cia sa phone. Parang di kame magkalevel ng sense of humor.. walang chemistry. So ang ending, LET’S JUST BE FRIENDS ang sagot ko. Tapos, naging sila nung bridge namin.. they were together din for a few months, nang biglang magkasabay kame sa bus pauwe. Sinabi nya ng niligawan nya lang si bridge para pagselosin ako. At dahil nalaman nyang hiwalay na kame ni Mama’s Boy, aaminin na nyang ako pa din ang mahal nya. Syet! Ano ba naman ito?!! Bakit biglang may tibok sa puso ko? Diba ayoko nga sa knya? Namen!!!

Tao lang naman ako diba? Nagkakamali? So ayun, iniwan nya si bridge (at take note, si bridge ay medyo warfreak at ilang taon nya akong inaway away sa school) at naging kame. 5 months into the relationship, nakikita ko na ang pagiging possessive nya.

Marami ciang ayaw pagdating sa damit. At kapag ayaw nya ang damit ko, kukuhanin nya tlga ito! Buti sana kung cia ang bumili diba?

Kailangan every minute of the day kame magkasama. At pag nasa bahay, kailangan magkausap kame hanggang matulog.

Meron ciang standard spiel bago ibaba ang telepono.. something like, mahal ko asawa ko…chuchuchu! At ang mas bad trip, kailangan ko din itong sabihin pagkatapos nya. Ugh!

Naisip ko non, nakakahiya pag naghiwalay kame! Kaya tiniis ko, hanggang 8th month namen.. that was all I could take.. nang minsang magalit cia dahil inabutan nya sa bahay ang best friend kong BABAE, at gusto nyang paalisin ko to dahil almost one month kameng hindi nagkita (galing cia sa bakasyon sa Quezon– sa loob ng isang buwan na yon, araw araw ciang tumatawag at every other day ay nagpapadala ng mga 5-paged letters na minsan eh hindi ko na binabasa dahil nauumay ako sa paulit ulit na MISS NA MISS NA KITA!), at pinagsusuntok nya ang pader namin sa garahe hanggang sa dumgo ang kamay nya! Ora mismo, nakipagbreak ako. Wala akong balak maging punching bag.. at that was the worst thing he could do to push me away. Ilang buwan din nya akong hindi tinantanan. As in! He was going crazy! And the more he tried to pursue me, the more I felt the need to stay away.

I received a message from him mga 8 months ago, love pa daw nya ako until now. Then I posted my pictures with Carlo and Aien sa friendster. Finally, he stopped.

May nurse girlfriend na yata cia ngayon. Good for him.

4. THE POET
He’s another childhood sweetheart paglipat ng family ko sa Las Piñas. He was the cutest boy sa church namen non! Para ciang live version ni Trunks..Naging mag M.U kame when I was still 15.. nung medyo malabo kame ni MR. DIMPLES. Nung nalaman ng mommy ko, she talked to him at sinabing pag 18 na ako, saka ka na lang manligaw. When I turned 18, may GF na cia. Napasubo sa isang ultimatum na di na nya maurungan. So ayun.. 2 years later, nagkasama kame ulit and that started everything again. Like what happened to DIET, he broke up with his girlfriend of almost 3 years..at ciempre, ako na naman ang nang-agaw diba? ANG GANDA KO NAMAN!

Almost 9 months din kame nagtagal. Although surviving the last 3 or 4 months was a huge struggle for me. He became so insecure. And I got tired of having to reassure him each and everytime. Nakakapagod naman talaga! And I could only take so much. The last straw was during that New Year’s eve na hindi cia pumunta sa bahay dahil hindi ko daw cia ininvite! DUH?! Kung yung asungot na manliligaw ng ate ko nagawang sumulpot sa bahay namen na parang kabute, cia pa kaya? So ang ending… BREAK!

Now, he is engaged to one of best friends sa church and they are getting married April of this year. 🙂

5. THE GENERAL’S SON
I must admit na habang struggling ako sa relationship namen ni POET eh may konting attraction na ako para kay number 5 since he started giving me extra attention.. unfortunately,he had a girlfriend then. When we finally broke up, nakipagbreak din ang GF nya sa kanya… ang reason: nararamdaman daw nyang may gusto ang BF nya sa akin. So that was the start of a very colorful 3 years of being together. People thought we would end up together. Maraming nagsabi na nagbago cia because of me.. but there’s that funny feeling na I never saw myself spending the rest of my life with him. Not because I didnt want to.. but I felt there was something wrong. I felt like he wasnt into the relationship as I was. Marami ciang hangups sa buhay. He wanted to be this and that, do this, go there.. at marami pang iba. Sa sobrang dami ng plans nya, I always had to take the back seat..which I did, silently waiting for the day na marealize nyang being with me is enough. I loved him. And I was hurt a million times. But I held on.. only because he promised me that it’ll be us no matter what. Pero ayun, we had to break up dahil kailangan nyang tuparin ang pangarap nya. And having me in his life wouldnt make that possible. So I gave way.. trying to decide if I should wait and hold on, or just move on with my life and let it go. Tinanong ko cia kung babalik ba cia, at ang sagot nya sa akin: Dios lang ang nakakaalam!

That was not the answer I was hoping to hear. I loved him pero may respeto ako sa sarili ko. I wouldnt wait without any assurance of him coming back. Hindi ako ganon kabrutal sa sarili ko. Tama na yung tatlong taon na nagmahal ako.. I just knew I had to let go.

That’s when my hubby came along. Ibang entry na lang ang love story namen.. mahabang kwento din kase yun. Basta everything happened sooooo fast. At eto nga, may little angel na kame. Living together as husband and wife is also a struggle. Pero masaya. Masarap yung paggising mo, meron kang sasabihan ng “Good morning”. Yung merong magsasabi sayo na maganda ka, that you are loved. Masaya yung alam mong hindi ka tatanda mag-isa.

So yan ang story of my lovelives! 🙂 Masalimuot.. maraming adventure. There were a few people who got hurt along the way..pero sabi nga nila, love is not always a bed of roses. Pain is love’s glory. Kaya pag nasaktan ka, masarap magmahal ulit. Corny, pero totoo!

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Babaeng Maga Strikes Back

•February 18, 2009 • 2 Comments

I can never forget that line I saw from my husband’s ex’s Friendster page.

And I quote: “Dadating din yung prince charming mo! Yung hindi ka ipagpapalit sa babaeng maga!”

Pakingsyet! Nyeta talaga! I must admit, that 4 letter word crushed my ego!

Perfect timing! I just gave birth when I read that. Yung tipong mas malaki pa kay Mark Mabini ang insecurities mo. Yung parang ayaw mong humarap sa salamin dahil ang panget ng skin mo..ng buhok mo..ng ilong mong nagmukhang fresh tomato! Yung nakakainis umalis dahil walang ibang damit na kasya sayo kundi ung mga maliit na t-shirt ng asawa mo. Yung feeling mo nanay mo lang ang magsasabing maganda ka pa din. Yung naiisip mong kapag sinasabi ng asawa mo na I LOVE YOU ay isang sexy Brazilian model ang naiimagine nya! At dahil dyan ay aawayin mo cia at sasabihing HOW DARE YOU!!! Yung nandon ka pa sa point na pati friendster account ng mga naging jowa ng asawa mo at pati mga kasalukuyang jowa ng mga ex mo eh tinitingnan mo para matorture ang sarili mo dahil payat sila.

Payat sila at ikaw…babaeng maga!

O diba? Nakakapanliit naman talaga. Lahat ng signs of bitterness nakita ko na sa sarili ko noon.

“At least hindi mali mali ang grammar ko!”

“Napakatrying hard gumamit ng highfaluting words para masabing smart siya.”

“It’s been like time of memorial…” MEMORIAL??? May patay ba?

Gumamit ka ng tad instead of bit; wreak instead of cause! Ugh! Haven’t you heard of KISS? Keep it short and SIMPLE! Duh!

Magcomment ka sa friendster ng lahat ng kakilala mo para ibroadcast na you are in pain. LOSER!

Be awful sweet! Yung lahat ng tao mahal mo! Para lang si Roderick Paulate na mahal ang lahat ng creature sa daigdig.

At ang mahaderang tiboli na nagsabing MAGA ako, sana narerealize mo kung gano kadami sa circle of friends mo ang tinamaan sa salitang yan. Well, I pity you, dahil I’m sure bitter ka din naman dahil wala kang pototoy!

That was me, a few months ago… almost 7 months ago siguro. Now I realize how crazy I was to even visit those accounts..and to ultimately be affected.

At don sa nanlait sa akin, isang malaking HALLER lang ang masasabi ko sayo. 120 lbs to date..and still losing! Tsk tsk.. Nanalamin ka na ever? Oh well.. at least I’m happy my dear. Are you? 🙂

Heart to Heart Talk with THE BUBUYOG

•February 18, 2009 • 2 Comments

As usual, nagkaissue na naman kame ni Bubuyog.

Kase naman, nakakainis kapag hindi magawang ihiwalay ng mga tao ang personal sa trabaho eh. Lalo na kung usapang jengjeng lang naman. I must admit, madali akong mapikon kapag mga ganitong bagay. Impulsive din ako. I deal with issues kahit mainit pa sa bagong kulong tubig ang ulo ko. Lalo na pag pakiramdam ko na ang mga taong nasa posisyon ay hindi na dapat pang paalalahanan ukol sa mga bagay na ito.

Pero iba kase sa Horizon. Bukod sa mga walang patumanggang issues, anonymous texters, nakakaeskandalong WAV files, mga nangungutang na bigla na lang nagdidisappear, at mga kwestyonableng promotions, minsan pakiramdam ko, kailangan pa ng isang drum na maturity ang mga DA WHO . Basta, ayoko na magdetalye. Ang nangyari ay nangyari na!

In a gist, after the long weekend had passed, pinatawag ako para sa isang umaatikabong usapan.

Yes, umaatikabo! Dalawang oras ba naman eh.Halos dumugo na ang tenga ko mga friends! Pero ayos lang, worth it din naman ang ending. Nasabi ko lahat ng gusto kong sabihin.

Narito ang ilang quotable quotes mula sa nasabing usapan na siguradong ikakatumbling mo:

1. BUBUYOG: I’M SORRY.

Parang si Ate Glo lang after that scandal that shocked the entire nation and rocked her government. Pagpasok ko pa lang ng pinto, yan agad ang bungad niya. And believe me, having known the Bubuyog for almost 5 years, wala sa personality nya ang magsorry kaagad! This is indeed a miracle! O end of the world na ba?

2. CHARM: Anong mararamdaman mo kung may dumerecho sa GM or sa VP? Di mo ba maiisip na nabypass ka?

Take note, nagawa ko sabihin yan minus the poot. Di ko lang sure kung successful ako. 🙂

3. BUBUYOG: What did you mean by lay all the cards?

CHARM: I’m not going there. I was just upset when I sent that message.

Hello! Para naman kase akong nananakot diba? That was not my intention, promise! Baka mamaya, sampalin nya ako ng payslip, mahimatay pa ko no!

4. I JUST FELT THAT IT WASN’T RIGHT!

Ayan, sige! Isang malupit na lecture on morality tuloy ang napala mo. Hindi naman ako santa. I had my own share of kabulastugan. Pero iba naman kase ito. Tipong kapag nabalitaan mo ang nangyayari eh wala ka na magagawa kundi mapabuntong hininga!

5. I JUST NEED A BOSS I CAN LOOK UP TO.

Period.

In the end, okay naman ang kinalabasan ng usapang ito. Nagwakas kame sa mga I HOPE I HOPE churvah.

Of course, umaasa akong magiging maayos ang lahat. Kahit naman paano, despite the many things I hate about our ever cost cutting company, gusto ko pa din magstay. Mahirap din lumipat kung ang halos 70% ng mga close, not so close at feeling close friends mo eh nandito din.

Ang hirap magsimula ulit. Nakakalurky ang mga interviews na pare parehong WHY DO WANT TO TRANSFER lang naman ang tinatanong.

We’ll see. I’m sure may plano naman ang Dios para sa akin.

Magtinda na lang kaya ako ng tig-500 na pearl whith? 🙂

O kaya makisosyo na lang ako kay Alvic na nagbebenta from Avon to Fern Cee.

Or baka pwedeng ibugaw ko na lang si Celso! Kikita kaya ako don?

When losing becomes a lovely thing….

•January 30, 2009 • 3 Comments

 

I am sooooo lazy to go to the gym to workout, so I usually resort to the no-sweat ways of losing weight. I have tried some Chinese drugs that make you lose weight as fast as your heart rate goes. Also those slimming pills that don’t let you sleep at all, I think these are the ones that have components of meth. I was so desperate that I even tried Judy Ann’s endorsement of this pill that supposedly makes you burn fats faster, but to no avail.

 

I have tried working out in gyms a couple of times. But in both times, I just made Sphere and Slimmer’s World a few thousand pesos richer without losing a single pound.

 

I have always been around 120 (good days) to 125 (bad days) pounds. After giving birth, I was at 143 lbs. The added pounds coupled with a few red lines they call stretch marks on my hips , the just-starting-to-go-back-to-its-normal-size nose, the dry skin, frizzy hair… ugh! You can just imagine what it did to my self-esteem. I could remember how overly sensitive I have become because I felt so ugly. Guess I wasn’t ready for the biological changes brought about by motherhood.

 

About a month after giving birth, I bumped into an old friend. With much excitement, I gave her the news about the baby.

 

“ I have my own doll now!”, I recall saying.

 

Flashing a smile on her face, she held my tummy and asked: “Wow, kelan ka due?”

 

That was my wake up call.

I needed to lose weight or I’ll be doomed. That’s when I made a decision to work on getting back to my “average” figure.

 

I have not had rice since then. I do crave sometimes. But I never gave in, always thinking that this time I’m doing it for myself.

 

With the help of my wonderful pooping drug, I am now at 129 lbs. The clothes I bought upon my return to work after my maternity leave do not fit anymore. But unlike those times when such an event frustrates me, trying to look for clothes that actually fit now give me so much joy!

 

I feel proud of myself. For having the determination to look better so I can feel better too.

 

And I do. Finally, motherhood is much more fun than I had thought.

Twilight Aftershock (Disclaimer: Very Late Post)

•January 30, 2009 • 3 Comments
HOY KELLIE, AYAN MAUMAY KA!!!
I just finished reading the book, collectively in less than 24 hours, a few days ago. Due to my disappointment over the film adaptation of the Da Vinci Code when I read the book prior to it’s launch in theaters, I decided to watch Twilight before reading it.
 
I fell in love with the movie.
Particularly with Edward Cullen.
 
I wonder why something so fictional can seem so real.
How unconditional love can become even more absolute.
 
How can a vampire of such dark character display weakness over the love of his eternal life?
And how can a person give up normalcy all for the sake of a love that’s been damned from the get-go?
 
Alright, so obviously, I am a hopeless romantic. I enjoy anything that has got to do with loving and being loved.
 
Regardless if it’s about a cold blooded vampire.
Despite how unreal or absurd the story line can get.
 
I would’ve enjoyed it even if it had been about a pig who fell for a dog. Or a sewer rat.
 
Twilight was definitely more than endless exchange of vows of love and promises of forever.
It was a perfect example of loving without any reservations.
 
The book was even more fascinating.
Nothing too technical.
No highfaluting words.
The story was captivating as simple as it is.
And as complex as it is.
 
Needless to say, I am not reading the sequel before the movie.
 
Yes, I may have to wait years before the next film is released,but who cares?
 
This is one saga worth waiting for.

Wanted: New Elite (blog from late 2008)

•January 30, 2009 • Leave a Comment

So it’s another step closer to being official. Second show-cause issued today.

 

It’s so unfortunate that it had to end this way. But I had to do what I had to do. It’s tough when people lie straight to your face, look at you in the eye in a way you think only sincere people can.

 

 I feel bad. I do.

But just the same, I am relieved.

 

I can never deal with people who lie. Especially when they seem to be a “natural born liar”

 

Ugh… How can people want something so bad yet take it for granted.

 

 I know she wanted this.. She waited for so long.. Now that she finally got the chance, she lets it go just like that.

 

I always had that feeling… I knew there was something off. I guess I should’ve listened to my instincts. I guess I should’ve been more cautious. Then maybe I could’ve have stopped her from even going that way. Somehow, I feel responsible that she went that way. But I gave her the chance to come clean. To tell me the truth not because I want to know but because I want the truth to come from her.

 

But she decided to stick with her lame story.. and look me in the eye, trying to convince me to believe her awful lies.

 

Maybe she was a lousy actress.

 

Or maybe she was good.. I just knew better.

 

When “MR.I-DONT-LIKE-GRAMMAR-SO-LET’S-PLAY-CHARADES” was dismissed while I was on maternity leave, I thought it would be more than enough warning for her to realize that nobody is indispensable. For some odd reason, I think she had a feeling that she can easily get away with two major, and terminable, offenses. DISHONESTY and FALSIFICATION OF TRAINEES’ HOURS.

 

Whatthefuck?!!!

 

I knew she wasn’t the smartest, which was particularly evident in her forever unresolved lost hours, but I didn’t know she could be as “choopid”.

 

Or maybe she thought she can make a fool out of me. BIG MISTAKE! Now she has to learn the hard way.

 

Oh well, we have to move on and let go of the past. We are just a few days away from officially looking for a replacement.

 

But I am looking around for potentials. And this time, I will not make the same mistake.

 

Because more than the communication skills, the quality, recommendations, and other measurable factors, I am digging deeper.

 

I DON’T WANT ANOTHER ONE WHO GIVES ME THE ATTITUDE.

I DON’T WANT ANYONE WHO THINKS I AM AS STUPID AS THEY ARE.

I DON’T WANT SOMEBODY WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE TRUE ELITE SPIRIT.

 

Yes, genuine elite spirit! I guess that’s what we need. Someone whose passion never runs out. Whose integrity can never be questioned.

 

Is there anyone ELITE still out there? I am desperate. I need another elite.

 

Para sa aking Happy Meal!

•January 30, 2009 • 2 Comments

So pressure ito?! Dahil tapos na si Kellie sa 29 chervah na to, kailangan na maiba naman ang mga sasabihin ko? Bakit ba hindi ako humingi ng ganito sayo nung birthday ko para marealize mo kung gaano kahirap itong ekek mo! Ni one liner na comment sa Friendster eh hindi mo ko ginawaan, tpos ikaw?!!! eh tatlong araw lang naman ang pagitan ng kapanganakan natin??? O ayan, parang COB lang ito, not taking into consideration the year.

O cia, mahaba habang listahan ito kaya sisimulan ko na.

DISCLAIMER: Kung maubusan ako ng mga panghalip, pakopya na lang Kellie! 🙂

29 THINGS YOU OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT CELSO

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER (Naks!)

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1. Trust worthy.
I have to agree with Kellie. Pero para medyo maiba sa item number 11 nya, english na lang! Kasi ito ang pinakamagandang trait ni Panget. Pilipitin mo na ang kung ano mang pwede mong pilipitin, hinding hindi nya ilalabas ang sikreto mo. Nabanggit nya noon sa akin na sana wala na lang magtiwala sa knya ng sikretong malupit na walang clue dahil mabigat daw dalhin sa dibdib kapag hindi mo din naman mailabas sa iba. But until now, hindi pa din cia nagbabago. Kaya ayun, dahil sa mga DDS na naishare sa kanya, makailang ulit ciang sumailalim sa 2-D echo.

2. Vain.
Hindi man obvious pero gumagamit cia ng Olay Total Efects.Meron din ciang kung ano ano pang products na ginagamit, at naalala ko na minsan din nyang hinangad gumamit ng Toner at cream na ginamit ko noon…natakot lang yata cia na magbalat ang mukha nya.

3. Kuripot.
Hindi cia Ilokano, pero ni minsan hindi pa ako nakatanggap ng regalo mula sa kanya.. birthday, kasal, pasko, bagong taon. Kahit nung nanganak ako, wala! Noon, inilibre ko cia sa Pancake House at sa Pizza Hut, at ginantihan nya ang kabutihang ito sa pamamagitan ng panlilibre sa akin sa McDo!

4. Mahiwaga.
Kung minsan pakiramdam ko isa ciang stranger. Malihim cia pagdating sa knyang personal na buhay kahit na ultimo size ng bra at panty ko eh sinasabi ko na sa knya.

5. Morbid.
Madalas nyang sinasabi na pakiramdam nya eh maaga ciang mamamatay. Na hindi cia aabutin ng matagal sa mundong ito. Pakshet! Eh diba ang masamang damo hindi nga daw madaling mamatay?

6. Medyo virgin.
Ang sabi nya, may experience na daw cia… College daw cia non. Pero hindi ako naniniwala. Ayoko lang, bakit ba?

7. Komedyante.
Walang hirit yan na hindi nakakatawa. Although most of the time, ang nakakatawa eh yung expression ng mukha nya habang dinedeliver ang lines nya.

8. Maangas.
Maglakad. Magsalita. Pati pagtaas ng kilay at pagkunot ng noo maangas din. Nakalimutan yata nyang di lang kaputian ang kakulangan nya, kundi maging sa tangkad. Okay lang sana kung kasing laki ng katawan ni Tim ang katawan mo, BUT NO!

9. Mahirap suyuin.
Narito ang tunay na pangyayari sa likod ng item number 2 ni kellie:

A FEW YEARS AGO (mga reps pa lang kami; one very ordinary day, halos patapos na ang shift)

Unang attempt nyang magapply bilang TL (o ATL ba yun– nung si Kristine Kalaw ang napromote?) o basta yun… hindi cia nakuha. Ako nag unang taong nasaktan para sa kanya. Pero makalipas ang ilang araw, subject of asaran na namin ang pangyayaring yon. Humirit cia ng something like eh ikaw nga blah blah blah (di ko na matandaan ang mismong sinabi nya).. kaya humirit din ako: “eh ikaw nga rep ka pa rin”.

At ayon na din kay Kellie, isang Linggo nya akong hindi pinansin. Hindi nya ako sinasabayan umuwi. Ibinigay ko na ang pinakamamahal kong kolesyon ng F4… hindi ako natulog chong, pero walang epek! Hindi cia natuwa ni katiting. Yun pala, ayaw nya ng F4… fan pala cia ng 5566. Kaya pala!

10. Galit sa Makulit.
Kung gusto mong maging number 1 enemy ni Celso, kulitin mo cia pag sinabi nyang ayaw nya. At ipupusta ko ang natitira ko pang pearl white, makakatikim ka ng isang malupit na: ANG KULIT MO CHARM! AYOKO NGA!

11. Mahilig sa extra curricular activities.
Sayaw. Kanta. Exchange gift. Lakwatsa. Inuman. Name it, game cia. Basta wag lang mataon na nasa mood ciang magpaimportante at pilitin-mo-ako-but-i-wont-give-in moment.

12. Walang kiber sa sasabihin ng iba.
Wala ciang pakialam kung ano man ang isipin ng tao sa kanya. Minsan nakakainis dahil lahat ng effort para ipagtanggol cia eh gagawin mo, pero cia, isang ngibit lang na parang asong bored ang kapalit ng pangaasar sa knya ni Geno, among many others.

13. Sweet.
Di man madalas pero may mga moments yan na napakasweet nya. Naalala ko pa nong bagong trainer pa lang ako, sa kasagsagan ng mga umaatikabong chismis tungkol sa akin, hinawakan nya ang kamay ko ng mahigpit. At sabi nya, “BASTA ANDITO LANG AKO”. Naks naman! Sa kanya ko lang naramdaman na pwede palang mag holding hands ang babae at lalake ng walang malisya.

O baka umasa kang magkakaron din ako ng malisya para sayo? Shet Celso! Grabe ka! ;p

14. Silent Killer.
Patalikod nyang tinitira ang mga katiratirang hirit ng kung sino sino. Ilang email na din ang ipinadala nya sa akin sa intensyong pagtawanan at kutyain ang subject of stress relief ni Mina.. pero ni minsan eh di nya hiniritan si Block Socks na ikakapahiya nito. Plastic in a way…but very humane.

15. Fan cia ni Rachel Ann Go.
Cia lang ang nagiisang lalakeng kilala ko na naapektuhan sa nose job ng singer na to.

16. Pangarap nyang makapasok sa bahay ni Kuya.
Ilang beses na nyang naging plano na magaudition, hanggang sa wakas ay makatagpo nya ng landas si Joyfe. Magleave ba para sa audition? Kamusta ka naman! Tanggapin mo na, panget. Mas interesting si Budoy kaysa sayo.

17. Proud ciang lampas 4 years cia sa College (HINDI MEDICINE O ENGINEERING ANG COURSE NYA! TALAGANG 4 YEARS LANG  ITO).
Maguilty ka naman sa pera ng bayan ng sinayang mo. Para kang pulitikong pulpol! Iskolar ng bayan pala ha! Boo!

18. Hindi cia totoong taga LP.
Umuupa lang cia ng bahay dito. Pero isa ciang dakilang promdi. EBIDENSYA? Ang tawag nya sa kanyang biological mother ay INAY! Case closed.

19. Good Listener.
Hindi cia katulad ng iba na nangaagaw ng spotlight pag may problema ka. Makikinig lang cia sayo at never ciang hihirit ng KAYA MO YAN, AKO NGA….. Takte! Alam nya kung kelan irerespeto ang moment mo. At alam din nya kung kelan ka babatukan parang sabihing ang OA mo!

20. Cowboy.
Hindi cia maarte. Hindi cia pacoño. Parang hindi nman kse bagay db? Maitim na coño? Nyak.

21. Mahilig cia magpicture picture.
Ika nga ni Kellie, camwhore. At I’m sorry, weird ang mga poses nya, lalo na kapag nakahubad cia na kaunti na lang eh mapapansin mo na ang kanyang manboobs.

22. Nainlove cia noon kay Bey.
Naalala mo ba ang lasingan blues mo noon sa bahay ni Bam?! Potah ka!

23. Kiti kiti.
Minsan kung kumilos cia eh parang bulateng nangangati. Pasayaw sayaw. Patalon talon.

24. Open minded.
Hindi nya huhusgahan ang pagkatao mo, khit ano ka pa…maging ano man ang nakaraan mo. Pero talo talo na pagdating sa hitsura at fashion sense mo. Hindi din makakaligtas sa kanya ang mga grammar lapses mo, lalo na kung over confident ka at nakaoff ang autocorrect mo sa Outlook.

25. Half smiled.
Alam mong kinikilig cia o natutuwa ng husto kapag sumasabay na tipid na ngiti nya ang kanyang mga matang nangingitim sa eye bags.

26. Mahilig sa petite.
Karamihan ng naging “apple of the eye” nya ay maaring mapagkamalang anak ng pandak.

27. May sense kausap.
Kapag seryosohang usapan, kaya din nyang sumabay. Makailang ulit na nyang pinatunayan na hindi lang cia magaling sa pagiging Boyoyong. He knows how to knock some sense into you. Yung tipong maiisip mo ba na, shet, oo nga no!

28. Badtrip cia sa mga PG at epal.
No comment.

29. Cia ang aking Happy meal.
Ang effect nya sakin eh parang effect ng happy meal sa isang paslit. That says it all. He makes me happy.

Yan… akala mo pagdadaanan ko ang nakakangawit na pagttype na to ng hindi kita dudurugin ha? Di mo na birthday oy! Pero ganon man, alam mong love kita kahit maitim ka… kahit tinatawag ka nilang pusit o kamagong,o brownie. You know deep in my heart, aawayin ko ang sinomang umapi sayo.O SINOMANG MANAKIT SAYO! Ganyan kita kalove… at dumating man ang panahon na 99 chervahs about you na ang kelangan kong gawin, laitin ko man hanggang pinakahuling hibla ng tonsil mo, ganito pa din ang magiging ending ko. Kasi ikaw lang ang nagiisang happy meal ko. FOR LIFE.

Belated Happy Birthday Panget! Haluvyah!